When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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