Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Enjoy the penises
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
