so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
