She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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