guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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