Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
