omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
