Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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