if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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