So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
