I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
