very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
