Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
