yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he puts the penis in happiness.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
