Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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