he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
