don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
