If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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