he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
