wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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