I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
