i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
