other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
