Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
