I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
