after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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