So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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