i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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