Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
