i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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