Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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