also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
