Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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