Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
