His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
