Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
