it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
