I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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