before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
