How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
