would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
