You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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