Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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