Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
