last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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