Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works

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(917): View more from New York City

I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.

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(253): View more from Washington

My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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(408): View more from California

he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.

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(813): View more from Florida

You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.

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