Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
