he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
