Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
third nipple confirmed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
