This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you never un-have a 4some
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
